The Rage of Sam/Transcript
(Fade in on Massacre and Scarpher with two potions.) Massacre: So Sam thinks he could create his hate potion?! I could do better! Scarpher: This talent enhancer would increase a character's special skill dramatically. (Montage) Scarpher: Sam's rage levels can reach normally impossible extremes, Scotty would be more creative with his bloopers, Mary's ability to sing would be increased, Anna's electric powers become extremely powerful, and so much more! (End montage) Scarpher: Now... what would happen if someone drank both potions?! Massacre: No need, because someone already did. (The beakers are gone.) Scarpher: Oh great... (Cut to Microsoft Sam, who is the one who took off with the beakers. He already drank every last drop.) Sam: Everybody is thinking I am dead after I faced off against Evil Guy and saved my husband Scotty from mind control... I actually discovered the Raven secret... now I can return in epic fashion! (Sam backs up against some random wall, where he prepares to make a mad dash towards the temporary Code LTIB studio. Suddenly, Slide Secretii shows up with a gift: rocket skates.) Slide: When you decide to return to Code LTIB, these will help you get there much faster. Sam: (influenced by hatred) I don't need them! I can get there fast enough as is! (Slide backs up in fear and leaves with the rocket skates. Sam's face is already red from anger when Scarpher shows up and traps him in several measuring instruments. Sam's face turns normal out of fear.) Scarpher: Sam!!! I should've known from the start! After I heard you talk about returning to Code LTIB from a Disney Death, I was thinking that you'd drink the potions! Now Massacre and I have to make them all over again! (After several minutes of studying, Sam's emotion level appears perfectly fine. He is released from the instruments.) Sam: So can I attempt the return to Code LTIB now?! Scarpher: Your readings are normal... so I suppose you can. But in a calm manner, because I want to see if those potions worked together or not! (Scarpher leaves. LH Martin appears on the TV attached to the wall.) Martin: Since Sam is still dead, we can have fun with the things that normally make him angry! The BMW Mini logo! Commercial plugs! 20th Century Fox! Even his signature laugh line, we can mess around with! (Martin uses Sam's laugh line. When Sam saw this, along with the logos that Martin is playing around with, he immediately activates "Hellish Rage" mode and points at Martin, with blue fiery eyes. Then Sam starts his mad dash towards the studio.) Slide: (briefly returning) So Sam, did you want the skates? (she notices Sam is gone) Sam? (WB Shield can be seen. He brings out his camera and records the moment Sam dashes past him. He slows down the footage and realizes that Sam is indeed going towards the temporary Code LTIB studio.) WB Shield: Alright, Sam is returning to Code LTIB!!! Go Sam, go go go!!! (Sam slows down to hear WB Shield cheering him on. He dashes foward again, bursting into bright blue-white flames as he does so. As he is running, he is starting to get shrouded by electricity. Turbo Secretii notices this, and feels worried.) Turbo: Sam, slow down!!! Not even Dragonlord has gotten this angry before! The effects could end up in disaster for Mike and friends! Sam? Sam?! MICROSOFT SAM!!! (Sam doesn't listen, however, and continues his mad dash towards the studio. Back in the studio, Mike looks outside and smiles upon seeing Sam running towards the entrance. Mary smiles as well.) Mike: Could this be? Mary: Yes, could be. (Sam is shrouded by a lot of electricity by the time Mike opens the door for him. Sam slows down to a screeching halt and has made it inside the studio without releasing the explosion.) Scotty: Sam! I'm so glad you're back! I missed you! Sam: I missed you too, Scotty. Mike: And I'm glad Sam made it back in one piece. The way Sam looked, I was worried that he was going to explode. Sam: No. It is just a natural ability of mine to hold back anger until I could no longer do it. Mary: Can we start the Logo Party now since Sam is here? Martha: We can do so now. Everyone is present and accounted for. Martin: Alright then. Let's see the first logo. (The scene fades in on the TV, as if the first logo is about to play. Suddenly, the Devil and She-Devil appear instead.) Mary: Oh no! For the first time in a long time, the Devil and She-Devil are here in a Birdietalk Production! (Cue an explosion.) Devil: LOL! Looks like Mary has to pay for a fourth wall break! (The Devil uses Sam's laugh line. Sam's response is to motion for the Devil to come to him.) Sam: Listen, Lucifer. So help me, if I hear my laugh line being stolen one too many times, what happened on April 1st may very well happen again, but this time around induced with much more atomic hate. You understand?! Devil: Look, She-Devil. Sam is using flattery! She-Devil: I love it when Sam is using flattery. It makes for one good reason why we came here! Devil: We came here to take all of your souls to Satan's Kingdom! Especially Sam's! Scotty: Oh no you don't! You cannot take my husband's soul to Satan's Kingdom! If you want Sam, you have to go through me! Devil: What are you going to do about it? Scotty: This! (brings out a W-W shield and shoots out lasers) Devil: Oh really?! Let's see how you handle this! (Devil's eyes shoot out lasers that knock Scotty unconscious, cancelling the W-W shield attack.) (The TV next displays Harvey Zilth and CBS News, who are apparently co-operating for the newscast.) Sam: Alright! Who just decided to co-operate with Harvey Zilth to further ruin the show?! (Cue an explosion.) Mike: Look at that, Mary. Sam broke the fourth wall! Harvey Zilth: This is Harvey Zilth with a special emergency broadcast. The Devil and She-Devil invaded the studio in an attempt to take everyone's souls to Satan's Kingdom, but Scotty attempted to defend Sam and failed. CBS News: Tonight on the CBS Evening News, we are trying to figure out if Code LTIB can defeat the Devil and She-Devil without the assistance of God and the angels. By the way, we think that CBS and the Logo Party have merged! Hahahahaha soi soi soi rofl rofl rofl! Sam: HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY!!! CBS News, how dare you steal my laugh line?! No one uses the almighty laugh line but me and my husband! So help me, if I hear my laugh line several more times, I will repeat what I did on April 1st! WB Shield: I'd better get out of here before Sam throws a massive tantrum! She-Devil: Where do you think you're going, Warner? Let's see how you handle this! (She-Devil's eyes shoot out lasers that knock WB Shield unconscious.) Mike: I want to make a wild guess here. Whatever is making Sam this pissed is supposed to last all day? Sam: You're right, Mike! Now get out before I send a scary logo after you! Mary: (sudden tantrum!) EEE-YOW-OW-AUGH SAM WILL YOU PLEASE CALM THE FUCK DOWN YOU BASTARD BASTARD BASTARD!!! (Cue an explosion.) CBS News: In other news, Microsoft Sam is so defensive about his laugh line! In that case, Harvey Zilth reports that new cast members are coming in the studio right now. (The Human Sunshine Project appears.) Sam: BWA-GH-GH-GH!!! First the newscasters, now this group! Mike: But is anyone going to comment on the fact that Fortune is missing?! Nope! Hahahahaha!!! (Cue an explosion.) Blaine: So that makes Sam, Mike, and Mary who broke the fourth wall... Devil: Tottie! You could make a great ally! Tottie: Of course! Why would I reject? Sam: Tottie! How dare you side with the infernal imps?! That's it! I'm sending David, Hazel, and Zira after you! David: You called, Sam? Hazel: Do you want me to beat these bad guys back where they belong? She-Devil: How dare you send these three Microsofts after us? That's scandalous! Now you all receive three scary logos as punishment! (Viacom, Screen Gems, and George the MGM Lion all appear.) Mike: Oh no its George the MGM Lion no no no no no nooooo!!! David: Not Viacom! Anything but that logo! Zira: You trying to scare us? So that we don't beat you back? Anna: She-Devil, for trying to scare us, take that! She-Devil: Hold it right there! Let's see you handle this! (Anna and She-Devil battle each other with laser eye beams. Anna loses the fight and falls unconscious.) LH Martha: Oh now you've done it! Knocking three of our cast members unconscious! Now you have to face God's Will! Take that! Tottie: Oh no you don't! Lily, take Martha away! Lily: Okay... (Lily sends LH Martha to the Lily Pad Ride.) Harvey Zilth: We just found out that Tottie is such a control freak, just like Sam! Hahahahaha soi soi soi rofl rofl rofl!!! CBS News: She wants Lily to take away some random girl known as Lernout and Hauspie Martha away in an attempt to eliminate her. By the way, you are right, Harvey Zilth. Tottie is a control freak. Hahahahaha soi soi soi rofl rofl rofl!!! Scotty: Take it easy, Scotty. You know that Sam will eventually let loose... remain calm... Uh oh! Tantrum is coming on. (tantrum) NO NO NO NO NO DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT!!! HARVEY ZILTH AND CBS NEWS YOU DO REALIZE THAT WHAT HAPPENED ON APRIL FIRST WILL REPEAT ITSELF IF YOU STEAL SAM'S LAUGH LINE ONE TOO MANY TIMES SO STOP IT YOU THEIVES THEIVES THEIVES!!! (Cue an explosion.) Devil: Hahahahaha!!! Radar Overseer Scotty just blew a tantrum! Hahahahaha soi soi soi rofl rofl rofl!!! She-Devil: I agree! Scotty needs to be ashamed for throwing that tantrum! Hahahahaha soi soi soi rofl rofl rofl!!! Sam: Chill... ... Sam... ... You can still take it like a man..... Anna: Oh no! Sam is about to lose it! We must defeat the bad trio before Sam blows up! LH Martha: I agree! Let's take them down with all we got! Mike: Martha, you survived the Lily Pad Ride! We really need that assistance! (Code LTIB attacks the bad trio. Pikachu appears.) Pikachu: Need some help? Guy: Yes! Sam is about to throw a massive tantrum and we need to defeat these three bad guys before Sam finishes the tantrum! Pikachu: I see. Thunderbolt is what these bad guys need. Harvey Zilth: It's a race to see who is faster in completing the major job, Code LTIB or Sam. Sam: Just chill... Relax... Keep... your... cool... ... ... Uh oh! Can't... hold it back... any longer... ... Gotta... let loose! (tantrum) NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN CR*P CR*P CR*P CR*P CR*P CR*PPITY CR*PPTIY CR*P CR*P CR*P NOW LISTEN ALL OF YOU!!! DEVIL AND SHE-DEVIL, YOU USED TO KEEP BARGING IN THE STUDIO ALMOST EVERY EPISODE IN AN ATTEMPT TO DO SOMETHING THAT IS NOT JUSTIFIED WITHOUT CONCLUSIVE PROOF AND EVEN AFTER BIRDIETALK PRODUCTIONS PUT A LIMIT ON YOU TWO, YOU KEPT SHOWING UP!!! TOTTIE YOU LIKE TO ANNOY EVERYONE ELSE WITH THAT SIGNATURE PHRASE OF YOURS!!! YOU THINK IT IS FUN TO USE WHEN WE DO NOT LIKE IT ONE BIT!!! AND EVERYONE ELSE STOP STEALING MY LAUGH LINE YOU- Dirt: Oh no you don't! Tottie: Sam, how dare you say that to me! Dirt, stop Sam from completing his tantrum! (Dirt attempts to spray Sam with her grimy water, but the water evaporated into steam.) Tottie: Secretiis! Stop Sam before I- (The Secretiis all attempt to stop Sam from finishing the tantrum, but each attempt fails.) Tottie: Get very angry... (Rowlet appears.) Rowlet: What's going on here? Need more help? Mary: I think you need to get out of here because Sam is about to blow the place apart! Mike: We don't need you, so get out before you get blown up! Rowlet: Tantrum. Coming. On! (tantrum) NO NO NO NO NO DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT WHY DID MY HELP GET REJECTED PIKACHU DID NOT GET REJECTED BECAUSE OF THE FAVORITES GAME SO GIVE ME A CHANCE YOU GENWUN-NAAAAAAAARS!!! (Cue an explosion, but soon after that, a massive and violent explosion follows.) (Technical difficulties; please stand by) (Several hours later...) Fortune: Egad! What a severe temper! Now I know to never give Sam any sort of talent enhancer because of this! Sam: FORTUNE!!! WHY WERE YOU GONE FOR SO LONG?! I thought you were supposed to be with the HSP when they showed up. Fortune: Rule number one of nuclear explosions: If I didn't want to die, I would not be present when that explosion occurs. Sam, your extremely massive and violent tantrum caused a nuclear explosion, and it wiped out all the power in the Birdietalk Productions verse for several hours! So much for the talent enhancer lasting all day! (Sam attempts to strangle Fortune, but she sidesteps out of the way.) Fortune: Now if you'll excuse me, I need to find the survivors in this mess! (Sam leaves.) Fortune: (shivers) What just happened here... (looks up at the sky and sees blackness; no sun) a nuclear winter is coming... I need to warn everyone! (Fortune leaves and attempts to warn everyone of the incoming nuclear winter. Then a major announcement comes on, and everyone gets the message and hides inside.) Fortune: When in doubt, make a major announcement about a dangerous situation. It always works in averting the Cassandra Truth. (Fortune feels concerned about events that could make the situation worse, and pulls down the That's All, Folks screen.) (Script end.) Category:Transcripts